DO I NEED TO BE IN LOVE?

Sometimes I am wondering too much about LOVE. For a guy at my age, most people would say that I should have a girlfriend-a very typical way of thinking. And some of them says that it's kind of abnormal not to have one. Some even accuses that I am a gay, just because I don't have a girlfriend. Whoa, that's too much i guess. The question is, do I really have to have one? Well, I have no answer for that..

I am currently getting somewhat close to a very best female friend, but I'm not sure if that's love. I have to admit that I feel nice and cozy chatting with her as she knows me really well. I tell her my problems and she tells hers to me too. I feel that she is who I belong to be with. But that's just my poor instinct's wishful thinking. I do feel happy, but is that love?

I don't want to get stranded alone in the jungle called love. What if she doesn't really like me? And the most important thing is, I have promised myself to try to avoid getting in love matter before I find someone who really loves me. I have a faith that my destiny is in God's hand. So, I would prefer just to let it comes naturally to me when the time is here.

But sometimes, I tend to get confused between my instinct and my principle. I want to stand on my principle, but at the same time have a feeling to love and be loved. May Allah leads me to the rightest path of life..

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Feel to write something, but somehow don't know what to write about. Just now, i logged into my friendster account and bumped into some of my old friends' profiles. Looking at their pictures after years not seeing each other, makes me think about the old times. The times we had together. Most of them look different than before, the time we were together in secondary school.

Now after years, I'm glad that they still recall my name and my look. Proving that I'm still the same me that I used to be. For some of them, I don't even recognize their look nor the name as they're using different name for their profiles.

Back to the school times, I was a person who loves to keep myself out from the crowd. Lack of self confidence, I only had a few friends who was really befriended with me. Still remember their names and, sure, their look. Azad, Yusri, Wicit, Noriah were amongst who I really befriended with. Maybe that time I thought I have a very bad look, that's why my self-esteem vanished easily and I didn't have much friends. But now that I'm a grown up guy, I tend to learn that the look doesn't really has anything to do with my confidence. As long as I feel comfortable, then I'll get my confidence.

One of the things I've learnt from school times, never compare myself to another person. I am what I am, differently from what they are. If they think I look weird, I would say no, I look unique instead.

Anyway, really happy+amazed with some of them who has make it with their life. Some of them even has their own car and properties. And me? hehe. Still the same........